Guess who's coming to dinner - the Power of Dialogue

Have you been involved in those discussions about who you would like to invite to your dinner party? Sometimes we choose people we fancy and have no real hope of reaching, sometimes we choose people who have earned some form of fame we would like to be associated with. Mostly though, we choose people we admire and would like to hear in a real discussion around the table. We love discussions that explore our topics of interest, that provide fresh viewpoints or new ideas, that provide avenues for respectful discussion as well as friendly debate. And the reality is that one dinner party wouldn't satisfy, we would like them to gather monthly because we know there's always more value available.

I was thinking about this when a call went out on twitter for a debate between Gary Hamel and Steve Denning on the issue of "employee first" v "customer delight" approaches to business. My first reaction was that I don't want a debate. I would prefer to listen to these two talk and discuss business issues. I think I'd get something wonderful out of it. I don't want the entertainment of a debate but the stimulation and information of a discussion. I want to be able to absorb what they are saying and form my own questions and ideas.

I would love to set up the modern equivalent of an ancient concept - a space for dialogues that allow us to challenge our own concepts, create and define our real values and philosophies, and better understand the power of diversity.

I would love to set up a Google+ circle that allows a number of excellent business thinkers and leaders to ask each other questions and respectfully listen to each other over months and years as we take the voyage of exploration through this complex world (Please note: this is not an endorsement for Google+, I have only just joined and have no idea how/if it works, I just wanted to borrow the circle concept for this post).

I would invite Gary Hamel, Steve Denning, Kate Sweetman, Umair Haque, Drew Gilpin Faust and Vineet Nayar into the circle initially (If I repeat this list later, I will probably change some of these names again, this choosing thing is hard!). I would like to add a couple of younger leaders working in some modern fields to insert fresh challenges, so I will nominate Twitter's Katie Jacobs Stanton and Georgia van Cuylenburg. I also need a couple of channelers (perhaps bringing in the ancient art of Dialogues of the Dead) to stand-in for Peter Drucker and Anita Roddick.

I gather Google+ circles are recommended to be 12 people and I have nominated only ten. You didn't seriously think I would set up a circle like this and not have Michelle and I join in, did you? Like all good hosts, our job is to keep the conversation moving, bring it back from sidetracks and ensure that tempers don't get frayed!

The group I have nominated are constantly asked to provide sound bites on the media, to engage in "entertaining" business debates on business TV shows, to give orations at conferences, to write books and blog posts, and to deliver all of the other arcane content that old-style controllers of the media world are firmly convinced we want.

Then there is the volume issue. Too many people identified as business leaders see business leadership as a competition they can win rather than a social benefit they can help to create, often proclaiming the next big idea and the one right way. Even acknowledging that, there are many great business minds and leaders out there.

Listening to real business leaders over the years (often by reading but it is still listening), it is clear to me that they all respect the work of others, they are willing to learn, they have some strong views and they have much more in common than they have differences, including approaches based on underlying values and leadership. They focus on bringing benefits to others rather than fulfilling personal ambition.

Many people are out there trying to help businesses understand the power of conversations and storytelling, the benefits of listening and learning, the essential importance of innovation and evolution. I would love to see a number of real business leaders put this into practice by visibly engaging in a long term dialogue.

The Management Innovation Exchange (Twitter: @HackManagement) is a place where people can put forward ideas and have others provide analysis, comments and discussion, and this is a very valuable tool. However, it is crowdsourcing to a large extent and I think many potentially great statements of values, philosophy and business innovation are lost or diluted in the sheer volume of ideas and discussion.

Many dialogues may take place within business schools, and certainly there are business publications aplenty. I believe what we are missing is the long-term, open, public dialogues among the great.

I hope the next time someone sees two competing ideas, they don't call for a debate but for a reasonable, respectful, fruitful dialogue.

So who would you invite to your monthly dinner party and have you experienced dialogues of this nature? We'd love to hear your stories.