Respect, trust and the workplace

Amber Naslund, one of the co-authors of a Blog We Follow, Brass Tack Thinking, posed an interesting question on Twitter last week (@AmberCadabra): Do respect and trust have to be mutual or can one person respect and trust another without those attributes being returned? This brought to mind some of those common pronouncements that drive me crazy, accepted truths that are actually nothing of the sort.

You have to earn my respect. You have to earn my trust. Respect and trust are things that you earn from others.

This is a fundamental foundation for prejudice, as well as being a way to waste time, money and resources in the workplace.

Our starting points should be respect for our fellow human beings, respect and trust in people rather than refusing to give them the basic rights that all people deserve. Respect and trust are things to be lost, not gained.

Employing people on the basis of the values they share with you and your organisation (including your customers) will help you retain respect and trust in your co-workers. There are plenty of people out there with skills and experience who would love to work for an organisation that lives its shared values. We tend to lose respect and trust in others when there are conflicts in values. So defining your values properly, using them as a basis for selection and starting from a position of immediate trust and respect will help create better and more efficient workplaces, as well as reducing staff turnover.

When you tell someone they have to earn your respect or trust, you tell them that you are in a superior position to them and you are going to keep it that way as long as you can. You aren't treating them as colleagues or as people, you are treating them as serfs who can be treated with disdain.

And for that, I have just lost respect for and trust in you.